Every time I think of you
by smashnichole92
Summary: She's still not sure she knows what she wants. She knows she wants more than to be a "fuck buddy" but, is anyone really going to change her ways? Well.. Maybe Rachel Berry will just be that girl. And for those of you worried, there will be a LOT of twists, but I promise, Pezberry will be end game :)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One.

Santana's POV.

"CONGRATU-FUCKING-LATIONS, BIG MAN!" I screamed as Puck threw his arms around me. "I had faith in you; somehow I knew she'd say yes, I mean who can resist your charm and my romance?"

Laughing Puck shrugged his agreement, "Obviously not one Miss Fabray!" he winked. He pulled me in close for one more long overdue, heartfelt hug. "Even though I am officially a tamed man, you'll always be my number one bitch, bro, babygirl. You're it San. You say 'Jump' and I will always ask 'How high?' don't ever forget that okay? Especially with all that parental shit you have going on."

I felt the tears starting to sting and threatening to fall over the rim of my perfectly made up eyes. "Noah…" I whispered, my forehead against his. "We promised so many years ago to always be each other's other half, no relationship is going to change that for us. I have known you my entire life you goober. You will ALWAYS be the one I come too. Don't you ever forget. We still have to have our Pizza and Fried Chicken dates, every Sunday because that's FAMILY day."

My soft side is showing and if anyone hears us our badass reps are on the line. But he is my everything, the center of my universe. And even though a part of me will always be in love with him, he was my first after all, I know that he is so much better with my best friend. Quinn and Puck deserve happiness. Especially with their daughter here and growing more adorable every day.

He smiled at the name, only me and _Berry_ ever get to call him it, aside from his family of course. I still remember when he really tried to get me to start calling him 'Puck'.

**FLASHBACK:**

"Babe, it's not cute when you call me 'Noah'! 'Puck' is sooo much more bad ass!" he whined at me.

I was almost a Freshman and he was on his way into his Junior year. We'd been dating all summer. He said now that I was coming to High School I was fair game, and that I would be HIS through High School.

"'Puck' makes you sound like a 'douche'" I air quoted at him.

Later that night we found ourselves naked and tangled into one another in my bed. It wasn't the first time we'd touched, nor was it the first time we'd been butt ass naked and exploring. But tonight, tonight was the first time I knew I would love him for the rest of my life. As he slid all of him between my thighs…

"Noah" I moaned.

He never asked me to call him 'Puck' again.

I smirked at the remembrance.

"What's up babygirl, where's your head at?" he nudged me.

"Honestly? Our first time, and how you've never objected to me calling you 'Noah' since."

He laughed. "How could I EVER not like the sound of my name off your lips?" He kissed my forehead and left me at the door of my history class. The last period of my day, but also my longest period of the day. And of course, Berry was in the class.

"SANTANA LOPEZ!" she yelled at me.

"Lord have fucking mercy Berry, lower your damn voice!" I hissed as I grabbed her elbow.

"I will have you know, I do NOT appreciate how you speak to me Santana, it's quite rude." She started with a stomp of the foot.

I pinched my nose feeling a tension headache coming on. "Listen midget, WHAT can I do to help you so you will leave me the fuck alone?"

"Sing with me." She stated quietly, almost a plee in her voice.

No, no way in hell. I am too much of a bad ass to be singing with Rachel fucking BERRY. No, this is not happening.

"Sing what, Berry?" I said, hoping it would NOT be some musical.

"It's from Grease, well, the second Grease. And well, I am trying to get the attention of someone. But I NEED your voice. Please Santana." She pleaded.

Fuck Santana, get it together. Again, this is RACHEL BERRY and you shouldn't even be considering this. AT ALL.

"Who's attention are you trying to get? If I am going to make you look good, I need to know the target." I stated lightly, but truthfully nonetheless.

"dafkjahskjdg" Rachel murmured.

"Excuse me?" I said politely, but really my patients are wearing thin already. I opened my water to take a drink since obviously she was going to be taking a life time to answer this for me.

"Sugar. I am trying to get Sugars attention." She blurted.

And that is when my water went all over the class room, including onto our teacher.

"Sugar. As in Sugar fucking Motto? Are you for real right now?!" I am shocked. Berry and a, a, a chick? Even in my mind I am stuttering over this. What the actual fuck?

"Yes Santana, I happen to be into other females. A quality I am sure you can appreciate since you are having sexual relations with half the Cheerios squad!"

I smirked, of course it is a quality I fucking appreciate. I just didn't know it'd be Berry I would be thinking of appreciating later on. Knowing she was into that kind of thing kind of got my gears turning. Ever since Britt left to go to England to dance… I've missed me some sweet lady lovins. Maybe Berry… No. Santana snap the FUCK out of this. Berry is BERRY. Absolutely not.

"Whatever smalls, I'm in."

Chapter 2

A week passed, and we were finally ready to perform this thing.

"Alright guys! We're gonna get this session started by –" he said as he walked in.

"Mr. Schue! Santana and I have something we'd like to sing for the group.. It's about how I have been feeling lately and I just really need to get it out there."

"Well, alright girls! The floor is all yours."

I smirked, we are about to knock this shit out of the park.

24 hours earlier –

"SANTANA! Why can't you just take me seriously?!" she pouted with a full on stomp on the floor and everything.

"Berry… You just humped a wreath!" I got out through hysteric laughter.

"Well, I will have you know Michelle humps one in the movie and looks perfectly sexy doing it! Do YOU have any better suggestions?!"

"Actually…" I said leaning up on her bed. "I do. Do me. Dance on me. Kiss me. Do it all to me. She'll be so jealous that how can she say no to a date. One thing I know about leather jacket, skinny jean wearing types of chicks like Sugar and I, we don't wants NO ONE up on our women!"

"Oh… Oh my sweet Barbra, you're right Santana!"

Present time –

"Hit it!" I said seductively to the drummer.

**If you really wanna know, what I want in a **_**gal…**_**  
Well, I'm lookin' for a dream on a lean machine with hell in **_**her**_** eyes.**

_I want a devil in skin tight leather,  
And __**she's**__ gonna be wild as the wind._

_**And one fine night, I'll be holding on tight.  
I want a cooooool cool rider, a coooooool cool rider.**_

**If **_**she's**_** cool enough **_**she**_** can burn me through and through.  
Whhhhoah ohhhhhh.**

_If it takes forever, than I'll wait forever._

_**No ordinary girl, no ordinary girl is gonna do.  
I want a rider that's cooooooool.**_

**And that's the way it's gonna be.**

_And that's the way that I feel._

_**I want a whole lot more than the girl next door,**_

**I want hell on wheeeeeeeeeeeeels.**

_Just give me a fine motorcycle with a __**woman**__ growin' out of the seat and move aside cause I'm gonna riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide._

**I don't want no ordinary **_**girl**_**, comin' on strong to me.**

_They don't know what I'm lookin' for, they don't know what I need._

**I'm gonna know when **_**she**_** gets here, cause the ground will be shakin'  
I'll do anything to let **_**her**_** know that I'm **_**hers, hers**_** for the takin'.**

_I want a cooooooool cool rider.  
A cool, cool, cool rider.  
I want a coooooooooooooooool rider.  
A cool, cool, cool, cool rider._

_**I want a C-O-O-L R-I-D-E-R.  
I need a C-O-O-L R-I-D-E-R.**_

**Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I want a riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiideeeeeer thaaaaaaaaaaaaat's,**

_Cooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooool ._

The whole club stood clapping and hollering. Sugar winked at….. Me. Oh god, she did NOT think that was from me to her right? Just as the thought crossed my mind Rachel threw herself into Sugars arms.

"How'd you like it?" she whispered quietly.

Barf. Really? No need to be sickeningly sweet in front of everyone. I mean come on now…

"S" I heard, snapping my ass out of my thoughts.

"Yo Q, how'd you like it?" I smirked.

"Knocked it out of the goal" she smiled.

"BABY MOMMA. It is 'Knocked it out the park' as in BASEBALL. Not soccer." He rolled his eyes. As Quinn swatted at him playfully. "For real though S, y'all threw down. Who knew you two had such… Sexhemistry."

"Excuse me?!" I choked out around the red bull I had been trying to swallow.

"You know, sexual chemistry?! Little bit was all up ON YOU San."

I bit my lip, I know he's right… But I mean, come on. It's Berry. I'd strangle her!

"Nah man, just me ridin' solo for awhile. Clear my head and shit you know?" I shrugged it off. He knew better than anyone that I needed some damn quality 'me time'.

"I know princess" he whispered in my ear, it sent shivers down my spine. Damnit S, stop it. He's with Q.

We walked out of the room, and Rachel and Sugar followed hand-in-hand. Guess that went well for her…

"I'll see you guys later, heading home. Don't forget, party tomorrow night." I said quickly.

"Bye boo!" Puck and Q got out at the same time I was slamming the door to the school behind me.

Chapter 3

One good thing about guilty parents is the money and presents you get out of them never being around.

At 16 I have the most bangin' car out of anyone at McKinley. I also have the _fastest_ car out of anyone. My 350z is flooooooooooored in about 3 seconds as I fly out of the parking lot.

I need to go fast.  
I need to go somewhere.  
I need this off my mind.  
Berrys hips against mine… Her lips against my ear.  
FUCK. No. No me fucking gusta. I keep driving.  
I am about three towns over when I realize I really need to get back home. Socks needs to be fed and let out, not to mention I have to get ready for this party tomorrow night. Time to call Matthew.

"Hola mija, how can I help you today sexy?" Matt purred into the phone, I smirked knowing that at 16 I should probably not have a 22 year old wrapped around my finger the way that I do.

"Hola carino," I purred in the same way he had come onto me "I am throwing a party tomorrow and I could reallllly use some help getting the alcohol.."

"Ay… Mami what's in it for me? I can't always be buying you teens the alcohol, I could get arrested carino." He made a point, and I know that. But fuck, I am Santana Lopez, and I will get what I want. I'm trying not to notice the pit in my stomach, knowing the way I miss Noah calling me 'carino' because I was special when Matt just throws it out there like nothing.

"You know I am always good for it, enough money for all the alcohol plus a handsome tip. Not to mention, it has been awhile since I've had you over too… _bake_" I husk in his ear.

"Alright boo, I'm in. Whatcha need and what time do you want me over tonight?"

"Well, I won't be home for another hour and half so maybe meet me there at 930 and I will text you what we need?" knowing good and well I am 5 minutes from my door.. I just need time to collect my thoughts before. Sleeping with him used to be easy, fun even. He was more experienced than anyone I'd been with. He was at the top of my list. The only one who was really ever in the comparing, of course, was Noah. Vile rose in my throat at the thought. He's not mine anymore, he's not mine anymore. They have Beth and she is gorgeous.

"Aight mami, catcha in a few hours."

And the line was dead. No "I love you" no "Bye baby" none of it. And that's how I like it.. Right? Fuck. Maybe Puck settling down with someone else has made me realize I want a relationship? I mean, fucking around gets so exhausting anymore.

I pull into the drive and see my baby in the window looking at me. I have a gorgeous 1 year old boxer puppy who is my whole heart. He knows it too, he gets away with anything and everything, aside from eating my shoes!

I put the key in the door and before I even have it all the way open Socks is jumping on me. "Yes mijo, I know, I know, I love you too Socks. Yes carino, I know. Lets get you fed! Mami is so sorry she is late for dinner!" I coo at him.

My parents got him for me when he was a puppy. Their business trips were getting longer. Basically only home a week or two at a time and then back gone for 6 months. It doesn't bother me now that I have him, but before, it used to get lonely. Puck would come stay over, and so would Quinn and Britt, but it's not the same as a family. Socks is really all the family I have most of the time and that's why I baby him the way I do.

My cell starts playing "Bad Girlfriend" as I round into the kitchen to feed my baby.

"Ay bitch" I answered knowing damn well she hates when I call her that.

"Really S? Fucking necessary?"

"Damn mija, my bad." I cooed at the girl. Amy, she's a senior Cheerio and seriously has the hots for me. I'm only a sophomore though and she doesn't want to come out. So what does that make me? The booty call..

"Listen S, I'm horny and I know you miss me in your bed. Can I come over?" she husks in my ear.

I look at the clock, it's 715. By the time she gets here and over with it'll be too close to the time Matt is supposed to be here. I guess I could push Matt back.. Ay dios mio.

"Look mami, I'd love too. But I got stuck with my niece. My moms friend should be back by 1230 though, you game for then?" okay, I lied, sue me. This gives me enough time to give Matt what he wants, shower, and still get my sweet lady loves on.

"Yeah babygirl, that's fine. I will see you at one. Give Mads kisses for me." Of course she wants to give my niece kisses, I knew them meeting was a mistake.

"Aight. Catcha laters babe."

No sooner do I hang up does "Break Your Heart" start playing. What the fuck does everyone want?!

"Hola coma estas?" I chip off happily.

"Ay mami, you didn't text me what you want and I am fixin to be at the store. Lo siento, but I need your list."

"I totally forgot, hold please I am sending it carino."

And again, the line was dead.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 4.

I text Matt everything we needed. We got everything from Marshmallow Vodka to Southern Comfort, from bitch beer to the real stuff. This was going to be one insanely drunken party.

He showed up 45 minutes later with all of the alcohol in tow.

As soon as he was through the door he had me shoved up against the wall, the way I knew he would. He put his hands around my waste and I wrapped my legs around his. His mouth was all over my body. My mouth, my neck, my collar bone, anything he could get his mouth on while I had a wife beater and sofee shorts on. He pulled us off the wall and started walking us to my bedroom down the stairs.

As we're walking down the stairs he starts pulling my shirt over my head, then my sports bra, leaving a trail as we go. He sets me down and pushes me up against the wall. Biting deeply into my collar bone, "fuck that's gonna mark and Amy will be pissed." I think, but it passes quickly as my shorts are now just another part of path. He throws me over his shoulder and I let out a girly giggle. He smacks my ass just before opening my bedroom door and dropping me on my bed. I lay on my back and give him my best "come here" smirk and finger motion. He slides between my thighs, kissing all the skin he's recently exposed.

His shirt goes flying over his head, and I'm undoing his belt with one hand as I have my other hand weaved in his hair. "I thinks I will keep this for later" I add with a wink as his belt comes out of its last loop. He grins at me knowing full well what I plan to use it for. Off come his pants, and no sooner are those off does he spring free of his boxers. He pulls my panties off and is quickly running his fingers over my entrance.

"Gracias mami" he whispered in my ear when everything was said and done.

"De nada handsome" I husked back.

"It's been too long since we've made… _cupcakes_" he smirked.

'Cupcakes' is a joke we made up in like 8th grade. Quinn, Britt and I had all been talking about sex when Britts sister walked in so we started talking in code, and it somehow managed to be cupcakes. It stuck with us, and I don't know that it will ever go away.

I just smirk.. Again, I don't think I should have someone so wrapped up in me when he is 22 and I am 16, but who can blame him? I'm one smokin' hot bitch and I can put it on them better than anyone. I let my mind wander to Noah.. If this had been us, we would be cuddling and kissing, and so wrapped up in one another that nothing else would matter. But, it's not Noah, it is Matt and I am too busy trying to gather all my clothes and figure out how to cover this damn mark on my collar bone to really be pulled into our own world.

"Thank you so much, for the drinks, the _cupcakes_, the orgasms. All of it. But you really need to be going now." I stated with a smile.

The look on his face doesn't falter. He's had me pinned on the head from day one, fuck like a man, think like a man, and act like a man. He knew as soon as I'd got mine he'd be out the door. He leans down and kisses me. He nods for me to follow him to the door, even though we aren't emotionally connected the way a couple should be, he makes sure my door is locked every night before he leaves, just like Noah always did.

I follow him down the hall and lock the door behind him, I hear him check it and it makes me grin. It's 11, I still have 2 hours until Amy is going to get here. I need to shower and get everything set up for tomorrow night. Socks is watching me run around the house almost like he knows tomorrow he is going to be locked up in our bedroom so he doesn't try to attack anyone.. Not that he would ever bite anyone, but he is hyper. He bounces up and down at everyone and definitely loves the attention.

I'm in the kitchen making Jello Shots when Amy shows up at my door. "Bad Girlfriend" starts playing on my phone, why that girl will never knock, I don't know.

"Babygiiiirl," she cooed at me when I opened the door, "you look muy bonita"

I stifle a laugh, she is definitely a weda. "Hola mami" I purr in her ear.

She starts walking into the house and dragging me by my hand.

"Hi sockers" she coos at Socks, he starts bouncing at her and wiggling his nub. She bends down and kisses his head, all the while still holding my hand. I know she likes me, but I also know she's never going to push past this and actually BE with me. Rachel sneaks into my mind, SHE would be with me, she's with Sugar, openly at that.

Wait. Why am I even going there? What the hell? I don't know why Rachel has been in my mind the past few days, but it needs to stop, NOW.

"You look beautiful tonight Amy." I coo into her ear, she looks up at me with a mega watt smile. She's dressed simple, jean shorts, a cami, and a cardigan with flip-flops on her feet but sometimes I swear she's the most beautiful person I've ever met, aside from B, Q, and even Berry. But gorgeous and angelic, none the less.

She stands up in my arms and kisses my nose, "how is it that you're younger than me, yet I feel so safe and comforted around you?"

I look down and smile at her, and I know she isn't mine, but sometimes I can pretend.

Tonight.. Well, tonight will be one of those nights.


End file.
